Tina
Faigen's
SpiritTalk Calmness Corner
Published Article
"Treating Panic Attacks with Calmness"
by Tina Faigen
When I first became aware that I was experiencing panic
attacks I felt an overwhelming sense of confusion and embarrassment. Although I
immediately sought professional help, my life seemed to crumble around me and I
watched in horror as my symptoms worsened despite the medication which had been
prescribed. Not only did the medication alter my physical body by adding a host
of side effects to the list of symptoms I was already experiencing, but my
personality was effected by the drugs as well. I already felt disconnected from
the world around me because of experiencing panic. With the addition of
medication, I also felt disconnected from myself. I soon recognized that being
medicated was not the right path for me. Searching for an alternative, I spent
time educating myself, learning as much as I could through reading and involving
myself in support groups. Unfortunately, the group discussions often centered on
medications, in which I had no interest. I did not want something that just
masked the problem, but something more permanent, a solution in which I could
actively participate. I did, however, notice over time a common topic cropping
up during some of the meetings and in the books I was reading - relaxation. As I
became aware that relaxation might not only be a helpful tool but a viable
alternative to medication, I set out to investigate more.
Unless I was in the midst of an attack I thought I was fairly relaxed, but I began questioning my assumption. How large a role might relaxation play in my own recovery? How does one really relax - is there something I am missing? Since I am a patient person, am I confusing being patient with being relaxed? Furthermore, how is meditation related to relaxation? My preconceived notion about meditation was a picture of someone sitting in lotus position, counting breaths or chanting a mantra - not appealing to me. Although some people do count breaths or recite mantras, there are also those who choose more active ways to meditate, visualizing various scenarios or exploring different topics. Little did I know at the time that there are as many ways to meditate as there are people who meditate. When I subsequently met with a prominent psychiatrist who specializes in using meditation with people who experience panic attacks, I knew I had at long last found the path I had been seeking.
My recovery went quickly. Hungry to learn, I began practicing meditation from that day forward. On my initial trip to my doctor’s office I was looking to fix that "thing" that was happening to me which had made my life spiral downward, as if I had no part in the attacks, like it was an entity unto itself. On my final departure from his office I realized I had come to learn an important lesson: Sometimes we discover that what needs to be healed is not necessarily what we originally set out to heal. Instead of the quality of my life returning to what it was before the panic symptoms could no longer be ignored, its quality surpassed all my expectations, and through meditation, doors opened I did not know existed. I will carry forever the skills I learned, and with these, a peacefulness and a trust in myself I never thought possible.
During all my uncertain times in coping with panic attacks, one thing emerged as absolute truth. It is impossible for my body to have panic symptoms while I am calm. Panic cannot coexist with calmness. Panic cannot compete with calmness. Once calmness enters the arena, there is no other option for the panic but to retreat. The goal then, simply put, is to strive to remain calm under all circumstances, thereby abating any panic symptoms that might arise. To accomplish that, we need to become so knowledgeable about the experience of feeling calm that we are able to return to that state at will if we have left it. We need to intimately know what calmness feels like.
What is a calm, relaxed body? Specifically, what are the physical elements of being calm? The main elements of a calm body are slow, evenly-paced breathing, a steady, slow heart rate, good blood pressure and relaxed muscles throughout the body. By consciously slowing our breathing, our heart rate and blood pressure will lower as a result. This can be applied at all times, regardless of panic attacks. While listening to meditation tapes I learn the importance of first slowing my breathing, then mentally scanning my body, searching to locate any muscles that have tension in them. I can now find muscles that previously I was unaware of and release the tightness with or without using the tapes. Often someone experiencing a panic attack will first notice his breathing is fast and shallow only while in the midst of the attack. He is unaware that his breathing had become uneven long before the attack actually happened. Altered breathing contributes to an attack, accelerating it, sending the body into a response mode to compensate. The key is to practice breathing slowly and evenly, with awareness, throughout the day, not just when we are experiencing panicky feelings. To practice primarily when we are not feeling anxious, becoming so mindful of our breathing that we instantly notice when something within the body begins to change, even slightly. It is only through awareness of our breathing that its tempo can be controlled.
Relaxing the body, however, is only part of calmness. The mind needs to be calm as well. A quiet, uncluttered, focused mind plays an enormous role in calmness. The body reflects what is in the mind and it is the mind which continually feeds the body its tension. To stop the cycle we need to pay attention to both. Breathing can be the tool to stop the mind from racing. As we focus on our breath, the mind will slow down just as the heart rate and blood pressure do. With a quiet mind, we can begin to actually hear our thoughts. When our thoughts are slow enough for us to follow, we can hear our voice, our unique individuality. Through this voice important information can be heard.
Mastering calmness takes conscious practice. It requires mastering breathing and although controlled breathing is the key to bringing calmness to the body and mind, calmness also requires being mindful - truly aware. To be mindful is to be totally conscious of what you are doing, saying, thinking and feeling. It means facing and examining fears as well as painful memories. To be mindful is to recognize both the strengths and weaknesses on which you can build confidence, trust in yourself. It also means learning not to judge yourself or others, but learning instead to observe. Once you know how to calm both your body and mind through conscious breathing, if a panic symptom is felt, it will serve as a reminder to bring calmness back into your awareness.
There are numerous ways to practice achieving a calm state. Inspiring books and tapes are readily available about relaxation, meditation, guided imagery, visualization and hypnosis. These topics are very closely related, blending with each other, and each begins with consciously focusing on your breath. Because of my own practice with meditation and its relatives, my ability to focus my mind continually improves. Instead of attempting to distract myself from my symptoms, I focus on what they are saying to me. Symptoms are not to be avoided but to be listened to, for they are desperately trying to communicate with us. They remind us to refocus, that something in our life needs attention. More specifically, a common panic symptom such as the sensation of choking, may be pointing out that there is something that literally needs to be voiced, something we have been "choking" back which needs to be brought out into the open. During meditation we can ask ourselves what that thought is, examine the fear about verbalizing it and consequently choose how to handle it from there. Without listening to the symptom the issue cannot be resolved. Panic symptoms are present for a reason and if we do not hear what they are saying to us, they may stay around, coming back again and again until we do finally stop and listen.
In addition to listening to our symptoms, we need to listen to our thoughts because our bodies respond to those thoughts. Being unaware of what we are thinking or unconsciously filling our mind with negative, judgmental thoughts will cause progress to be slow and likely frustrating. In practicing meditation, we can begin to hear our thoughts with a new sense of clarity. Meditation is an opportunity to see inside ourselves, to truthfully and objectively examine all the various issues of our lives. We can begin to witness our behavior, thoughts, feelings and spoken words from a less emotional and more focused state. We can witness without reacting and witness without judging. In this detached state we can learn from and make peace with the past, safely confront our fears and begin trusting in our abilities. All this, just by beginning to pay attention to our breath.
I have stopped my habit of rating my anxious feelings on a scale of 1 to 10. Everyone experiences feelings of anxiety, depression, joy, energy, lack of energy or extreme happiness to varying degrees at various times in life. Sometimes we experience several of these emotions during the course of one day. I do not want to attempt to rate on a scale each of these aspects in life. Now I would no sooner rate my anxiety than I would rate my level of joy. Instead, I quietly notice if I am more or less mindful than I would like to be and take steps to adjust my calmness if I see a need. I watch as my sense of peacefulness ebbs and flows over time, without worrying if I feel less mindful today than yesterday. I also no longer count how many days, months or years it has been since I last felt symptoms or experienced an attack, but proudly look back on how long I have been actively participating in my growth, changing aspects of myself and my life so that I feel more fulfilled. My success is not based on how much time has passed without feeling panic symptoms, but on how readily I incorporate the meditation skills I have learned in order to hear and understand what the symptoms communicate to me.
Sometimes we discover that what needs to be healed is not necessarily what we originally set out to heal. I understand now that experiencing panic attacks was not the problem, but the result, the consequence of my real problems. Through meditation I was able to peel away layer upon layer to locate the seeds from which my problems stemmed, learn from them, make peace with them and continue on, carrying new knowledge with me. Today, I refer to my experiences with panic as my personal wake-up call, a call I am most grateful to have received. Panic presented me an opportunity to discover and to appreciate my true self, offering me an opportunity to learn what it is to be enthusiastic about life’s possibilities, to look forward to mysteries that lie around the corner while trusting in my ability to learn from whatever they may be, calmly.
Copyright © 1998 Tina Faigen
No portion of this article may be reproduced without written consent by the author.
Any duplication is an infringement of U.S. copyright law.
